I just don’t get it. And I just don’t get it on at least two perfectly logical fronts.
And what’s got me even more concerned is that this thing that completely defeats me seems to be so perfectly reasonable to so many others. Because call me dumb if you will, but I totally fail to see how anyone could even consider building a concrete path in Inverloch between Surf Parade and Bass Strait.
And this includes in any format, and most especially not in the one put forward at present.
So why am I so bemused by something that seems so logical to no small number of my friends and neighbours? Let’s start with the practical, and please, someone correct me if I am wrong, and I apologise in advance if I am. But my understanding is that the proposal in its current form allows for less than 30 car parking spaces between Toorak Road and Veronica Street.
So, two obvious questions arise right there. Has the person, or persons, who came up with this idea, actually visited this stretch of road on a hot weekend in summer? And if they have, then where exactly are they suggesting that the other 150-odd cars find a parking space, having just driven with all manner of beach gear from an area which stretches from Latrobe Valley to the east of greater Melbourne, including all parts of Inverloch outside of easy walking distance while lugging beach bags, boogie boards, picnic baskets and hot kids?
So does the phrase “Are we there yet?” mean anything to anyone?
But there’s no need to dwell on that for too long, because the obvious answer is that they will park up and down the adjacent streets, which were never intended to cope with this kind of four wheeled invasion. And most notable amongst them is Lohr Avenue.
So the designer/s of this plan would have just effectively moved a major problem one street back. Brilliant work, and I trust you were well paid for it!
And now let’s move on to the big questions. Have the people who think that this path is a good idea been to see the current state of the recently relocated Surf Beach observation tower, which is now once again almost undermined by the previously mentioned Bass Strait?
And have they paced out the distance between the existing surf beach sand cliff and the back of the Surf Lifesaver’s clubhouse, which was measured at just 30m by a local surfer last Thursday? (It may of course be less by the time of publication.)
And if anyone is wondering why this is happening, then let’s not forget that Bass Strait is several centimetres deeper than it used to be. And it is predicted to become many centimetres deeper again within an alarmingly short time frame in terms of the life expectancy of all the buildings in and around the already mentioned Lohr Avenue.
This is because ice is melting all over the planet and the resulting water has nowhere else to go other than into
the seas.
And this ice is not going to spontaneously reform any time soon.
So if the residents of the surf beach area began picketing Bass Coast Shire offices en masse, then I could probably see their point of view. Because at this point every single piece of vegetation along Surf Parade is acting as the first and best line of defence against the moment when the primary dune is breached by the power of a considerably deeper Bass Strait.
And if anyone wants to start talking to me about sea walls then I would point out one very salient fact. Simply, that there is a very good reason why it is a bad idea to deliberately pick a fight with Mother Nature.
And the reason is that you will always lose, because she’s just too big!
So if anyone is screaming at this letter by now, or even just mildly upset, then please write back and argue the matter differently.
Because we do not need any more consultants. There are simple and inexpensive options that are open to us to solve all problems associated with this issue.
We need to discuss them logically, and come up with a non-insane solution.
Because, as far as I can see, the track record of insane solutions to perfectly solvable problems doesn’t recommend itself!
Roger Thorrowgood, Inverloch.