By Mitch Guy

Footy clubs should avoid using paper bags with no plastic lining for its dim sims, according to My Dim Sim Rules’ Chef Yak.

DIM sims are synonymous with country footy canteens and you can’t go past a good dimmy with soy sauce.
And since Phillip Island Football Club’s dim sim connoisseur, Chef Yak, started writing a weekly review of dim sims from clubs’ canteens during Phillip Island’s games in the Alberton FNL in 2013, the My Dim Sim Rules juggernaut has grown and grown.
What started out as a bit of fun has grown to the point where club supporters keep a look out for the humorous weekly My Dim Sim Rules feature in the Phillip Island notes in the new West Gippsland FNL’s ‘The Barracker’.
There’s also a big following on social media, with over 670 followers of the My Dim Sim Rules Facebook page, where reviews and updates are featured.
He’s even been a special guest on 3mFM’s On The Bench.
Chef Yak said the reviews started from humble beginnings one day at Tarwin.
“I was standing there with a couple of guys at the footy and I was joking around about how they had a Chinese takeaway container and a fork and everything, and I thought ‘how serious do they take their dim sims’,” he said.
“I thought I should do something about this and I ended up doing a review the next week in the ‘Follower’. It wasn’t much of a review, just a couple of scores.
“Then we were at the Island the next week so I did an Island review and it snowballed from there, then all of a sudden everyone was all over it.”
MDU were crowned the dim sim champs in 2013 and Inverloch-Kongwak took out the prestigious honour in 2014.
And Chef Yak still has nightmares about the darkest day in My Dim Sim Rules’ history, when Fish Creek produced a brown paper bag with no plastic lining, and his dim sims were tragically stuck to the paper bag, forcing him to dispose of three of the four dim sims.
The effort earnt the club a paltry review of 18/50.
Chef Yak went beyond reviewing dim sims in 2015, when he reviewed various items at club’s canteens, highlighted by Kilcunda-Bass’ famous Kransky Hot Dog and Toora’s massive baked potato.
A highlight of the weekly reviews is the scribe’s unique sense of humour, his frequent digs at Phillip Island committeeman Gerald ‘Spud’ Taylor, his hatred of chip cups as containers and his love for the Chinese takeaway container.
He never holds back in his friendly criticism or praise for clubs’ canteens and shows no favouritism towards his home canteen at Cowes.
And although he copped some backlash from clubs during the Alberton FNL days, Chef Yak has taken it all in his stride.
“It’s always been a bit of fun, I’ve never taken it seriously and it’s just something that some people look at it and laugh and some people look at it and get offended.
“It’s never anything against the club’s canteens; I’m a volunteer and I know the importance of volunteers at clubs,” he said.

A new dawn for dim sims
After a hiatus in 2016 for ‘professional development’, the move by Phillip Island to the new West Gippsland FNL has seen My Dim Sim Rules return with a fresh outlook and clubs have enjoyed the weekly banter.
And the competition for the best dim sims has heated up, with Cora Lynn bringing in the big guns for its round six clash against Phillip Island, providing the popular South Melbourne dim sims in beef, pork and chicken varieties, which earnt them a score of 43 out of 50.
Chef Yak said it was great to see the old Ellinbank clubs embrace the reviews.
“Cora Lynn was a bit of a set up because they had South Melbourne dimmies when they played the Island and they ended up getting a really high score for it,” he said.
“I don’t think they’ve done that since and I think we drive past Cora Lynn for a couple of games so I might try and swing by for a surprise inspection which might disqualify their score.”
Here’s what Chef Yak had to say about Cora Lynn’s tasty dim sims:
Container – 10/10 (Foil tray), Quality Control – 7/10, Customer Service – 7/10, Soy – 9/10, Location – 9/10, Fork bonus – 1 point. Overall – 43/50. “Cora Lynn might be in the middle of nowhere, but much like Mecca, I shall be travelling there once a year to pray to my new god, the Cobra.
“Clubs are in for an absolute treat when they venture to the thriving metropolis of Cora Lynn. They don’t mess around when it comes to their dimmies, no Marathon, Golden Wok or Black and Gold here, they get the top of the range South Melbourne Dim Sims, and not just the beef ones, they get the pork ones and the chicken ones.
“I must apologise to the handful of kids that I pushed over in my attempt to get to the front of the line so I didn’t miss out.
“The only let down was the dry skin and the line that went around the corner to Koo Wee Rup, but they did have someone in the line doing sleeve tatts while you waited, which was a nice touch.”
For more My Dim Sim Rules reviews, check out the West Gippsland FNL’s The Barracker or like the Facebook page at